Where No One Will Find Me
by InnerSoulScreams
Summary: Demyx visits his favourite hiding spot only to be interupted by a mysterious visitor...
1. Chapter 1

'Look left, no one. Look right, no one. Good.'

A slim figure ran down a hallway, in a very ninja-like manor, to a room very few people knew existed in this castle. He stopped right in front of the door and looked around; making sure no one had followed him. A smirk crept onto his face as he confirmed that he was indeed alone. Slowly, with the faint feeling of excitement, he opened the door and walked in, silently closing it behind him.

I walked into the pitch black room (well, pitch black except for a single lamp in the middle of the room) and wound my way around the chairs that I knew were there. I didn't need light to find my way around this hideout of mine; I was in this room so often and for so long I could find my way without sight or even hearing.

Eventually, after taking my time running my fingertips along the fabric of the chairs in a loving touch, I made it to the other side of the room, opened a small panel, and pressed a button. Overhead lights suddenly came up, showing a large room, half filled with curved rows of chairs, and half filled with a large stage. Not just a platform, but a full out stage with lights and curtains and boom boxes and catwalks and a sound booth. It had a scrim and a psych and a mid-drape and legs and tabs and any other kind of curtain imaginable. It had at least three electric bars filled with different kinds of lights and even a fly system!  
>Stage left even had a small workshop where one could build set pieces; while stage right contained the locking rail and a simple light control box. A guitar case sat off stage right, just a ways in. The stage looked rather small with the mid-drape down and a single stool and microphone standing alone center stage; small, but not cramped.<p>Slowly, still admiring my auditorium, I walked on stage and grabbed the guitar case from stage right. I unclasped the case gently, as if afraid of breaking it, and pulled out an ocean blue guitar.  
>"Echo..." a soft whisper broke the silence. I smiled down at my much loved guitar, not as loved as Arpeggio obviously, but loved nonetheless.<p>Pulling the guitar strap over my blonde head, I turned and smiled toward the house; bowing as if an actual audience resided there, not just empty seats and dust.<p>

The lights went out suddenly and I jumped in fear (well, Zexion would argue otherwise…); a single spotlight hit center stage, directly over the stool and microphone. There was a moment of silence while I stood on stage nervously, perhaps waiting for someone, or technically nobody, to show up...

"Sing!" A voice commanded suddenly over the speaker system. They must be up in the sound booth, but with the spotlight on my face I couldn't see who was up there. Nervously, I sat on the stool and lightly stroked Echo before settling down to play. The first few cords rang out, echoing in the room, making it feel cozy and warm. I took a deep breath before opening my mouth and singing quietly, but loud enough for the microphone to pick up.

"Everyday is a struggle between what I wanna say  
>And what I should keep to myself<br>And the words that manage to leave my lips  
>Don't hurt me, but they hurt everyone else"<p>

The light turned blue and faded slightly, whoever was controlling the spotlight had obviously found the cache of gels kept nearby. Most of the gels and gobo's were kept down in the workshop stage left but I kept a variety up in the spotlight loft.

"And I find myself in need of a pause  
>I'm not sure why, but I think that it's because<br>Of this desire to be what others want me to be  
>Which is nothing close to me<p>

But I'll see better when the smoke clears  
>When the smoke clears inside my head<br>And I can listen when the screaming doesn't repeat everything I've said  
>And all that remains me and who I am at the end of the day<br>And this happens everyday"

My body betrayed me as tears slowly ran down my cheeks, my voice wavered, but yet sounded stronger. This new song of mine held a lot of emotion for me...well...oh screw Zexion! Emotional feelings! I can feel them...despite what they say about not having a heart, I have always felt things. Pain, anger, jealousy, happiness, love…

I let the tears fall freely, favoring the guitar over my dignity.

"Everyday is a battle between what I wanna know  
>And what I don't wanna figure out<br>And everything in between in these thoughts of mine  
>That you know I can't live with out<p>

And I find myself in need of a pause  
>I'm not sure why, but I think that it's because<br>Of this desire to be what others want me to be  
>Which is nothing close to me<p>

But I'll see better when the smoke clears  
>When the smoke clears inside my head<br>And I can listen when the screaming doesn't repeat everything I've said  
>And all that remains me and who I am at the end of the day<br>And this happens everyday"

There was a moment of silence after I finished my song and then a burst of quiet clapping resonated throughout the room; the echo making it impossible to tell where it was truly coming from. Whoever was in here with me could still be in the spotlight loft or they could have been right behind the psych for all I knew…

"Xigbar? Roxas? Who's there?...Axel?" I stood up nervously and looked around, trying to see whoever was there; but all I could see was the light shining in my face.

The spotlight went off with a quiet click and the woosh of a door closing told me that whoever had been here was now gone. Instead of making me less creeped out, I felt...sad; I wanted to know what they thought of my new song...

Sighing, I packed up Echo and stepped down the three steps off the stage, heading towards the exit. I stopped before turning off the lights to take one last survey of the room. Why was I suddenly being so sentimental? I've been in this room thousands of times, built sets for songs simply for my own enjoyment, painted backstage in the workshop for hours at a time, and even once put on a one-man show for Superior's birthday. It's not like these times in this room would end soon, I would be back after my mission to Hollow Bastion. I shook my head and chuckled at my stupidity; turning off the lights, I left the room.

Author's Note:

Welcome! To the Theatre Terms Glossary! For I feel like not everyone knows all the theatre terms I used in this fic :D. So for all of those totally lost by words like Scrim and Gobo, here ya go (By the way, these definitions are my own odd way of describing things and I'm describing the auditorium at my school so if you go to an auditorium and it's different then….umm…I dunno, tough.) :

Boom Boxes: Basically balconies to the right and left of the stage used to hang lights from or put speakers, or even sometimes used in the plays themselves

Catwalks: The overhead metal walkways; also can be used to hang lights

Sound Booth: Small room in the back of the auditorium with the light board and sound board

Scrim: Slightly see-though curtain; can be light to seem solid or to seem practically invisible

Psych: White curtain hung at the very back of the stage

Mid-drape- Heavy solid black curtain usually hung over Center

Legs- Curtains hung on the sides of the stage that run parallel with the Psych and Mid-drape and such. Used to block the audience's sight to backstage

Tabs- Similar to Legs but hung perpendicular, used for the same purpose though

Electric bars- Bars hung on the fly system, used to hang lights

Fly System- System of ropes and pulleys and such, used to pull in and out Electrics, Curtains, and sometimes set pieces

Locking Rail- Where the ropes for the fly system are controlled

Light Control Box- Thingy where you press buttons and lights go on and off…

House- Where the audience sits

Gels- Coloured pieces of plastic that are put in the lights to change the colour of a light

Gobos- Shaped pieces of metal to change the shape of the light

Spotlight Loft- Loft above the Sound Booth where the Spotlights are…


	2. Chapter 2

"Everyday is a struggle between what I wanna say  
>And what I should keep to myself<br>And the words that manage to leave my lips  
>Don't hurt me, but they hurt everyone else<p>

And I find myself in need of a pause  
>I'm not sure why, but I think that it's because<br>Of this desire to be what others want me to be  
>Which is nothing close to me<p>

But I'll see better when the smoke clears  
>When the smoke clears inside my head<br>And I can listen when the screaming doesn't repeat everything I've said  
>And all that remains me and who I am at the end of the day<br>And this happens everyday.."

Demyx's words echoed though my head for the millionth time since he had left on his mission last month. His voice haunted me similarly to how his presence used to...even now that his stone has turned red, I still feel him sometimes; swear that I hear music, feel the slight dampness in the air that means he had a bad day, once I even had to stop and look because I thought I saw Arpeggio lying against a wall.

I gave way as my mind slipped into memories held dear to me...

The messy, unstyled blonde hair of the new boy in the adjacent room happened to be the first thing I saw as I woke up on this seemingly normal morning. Seemingly normal, except the new kid still wasn't settled in yet, and apparently he liked my bed better; his messy blonde hair had woken me up by tickling my chin. My cheeks lit up brightly as I realized the new kid had wrapped his arms around my waist and had made himself comfortable, nuzzling his head in my neck. It had been a bad idea putting this clingy new kid next to the gay guy in the organization. Either way, I didn't mind too much. He was kinda cute...

The new kid woke with a start. From experience, and from the look of panic on his small face, I knew he had awoken from a nightmare; probably his own death. His clear innocent blue eyes looked up at me with the hint of moisture in them, begging silently for comfort. I pulled his quivering body closer and lightly ran my fingers through his hair until he slowly stilled. A small smile crept onto my face, I like this kid...he was really sweet.

Apparently he liked me too; he continued to find himself in my bed night after night after night. Either he was very scared of his constant nightmares (I still had to comfort him from them every night) or he was simply one of those people that couldn't sleep alone. I happened to have been one of those kinds of people, I had often secretly crawled into bed with Xigbar when I first came here. He didn't mind, and we both decided, for our dignity's sake, never to mention it to the rest of the organization. I guess this kid must be the same way. I hope this lasts a while though, I like having someone to wake up to…

The beautiful low tones of a Cello filtered through the castle drawing me closer with their invisible tendrils of music. I took light steps down the hallway, following the warm sounds produced by the big stringed instrument. As more and more sounds of Cellos filled the air I grew confused; who else was playing? I wasn't aware of any of us, other than Demyx, to be able to play any sort of instrument. (Well except Luxord, who could play harmonica.)

The song swelled with the sounds of Cello after Cello dancing and singing to each other until suddenly they all stopped simultaneously, before starting back in with their song in perfect synchronization.  
>I reached the room and looked around the door frame, peeking into the room inconspicuously. Unsurprisingly there was Demyx; surprisingly, there were also 7 other Demyx's, all with cellos of their own, playing along with the obvious lead of the true Demyx. All but one of them were made of water, looking like giant see-through water balloon musicians with real cellos; some electric, some acoustic.<p>

I listened with a smile on my face as the song sadly came to an end. It had been, and still was, beautiful. The cellos had seemed to light up with the song and flow and dance and sing with each other like they were having conversations. Beautiful conversations, conducted by a beautiful boy. I looked at Demyx, his face seemed to be glowing with happiness; similar to how it looked when he first summoned Arpeggio, and every single time after the first. His ocean blue eyes looked up at me and he smiled. His smile warmed the spot where my heart should have been, making the ragged edges seem less like a festering hole and more like a healing scar; with hope for better days.

'Shit! You dumbass..' I inwardly cursed myself. I had fallen for this musician...It was the stupidest thing I could have possibly done...yet, I was glad I had fallen, despite the pain I was sure to go through later. 

"He WHAT?" An innocent chair caught fire in the background as my rage and pain filled outburst weakened my control over my element. My anger didn't dampen as Superior just stood there as still as the moon he loved so much.

"Number 9 has faded." He said it with such certainty that his words broke the healing scar where my heart used to be in an instant. I fell to my knees as my world crashed around me, it had just started to get better...why him?

Quickly, as quickly as I had fallen, I stood and stormed out of the office, leaving trails of smoldering footprints and dents in walls. I smashed through the door to my room and slammed it shut behind me, throwing myself on my bed, the sobs finally breaking through and raking my body. 'Demyx...my Demyx...was gone forever...I never got to tell him I loved him...' My brain was still having trouble keeping up with this news, all I was sure of was that whoever had done this was going to pay.  
>Once the sobs had shaken me to soreness and the tears had finally run dry (though none had made it past my cheeks before evaporating), I rolled myself out of my bed with effort. Still sniffling, I walked out of my room and into the room next door. My brain was still refusing to pay attention to anything other than Demyx; so fine, I'll let it have as much Demyx as I can...<p>

I slowly shuffled, as if in a trance, over to the water bed in the room and curled up on top of the tan sand-coloured blankets. I tried not to pay too much attention to the pictures of the boy of my dreams along with myself on the ocean scenery painted wall. They brought up too many memories that I couldn't handle at the moment. The scattered sheets of music and instruments strewn across the floor also only brought up images of the blonde boy that I loved more than my own heart.  
>Finally fed up with the pain of these images, I buried myself in the blankets and nuzzled my face into the soft pillow that still smelled of the blue eyed boy; the nightmares soon took over.<p>

I shook my head to try and clear my head of the memories that now plagued my every thought these days. Sighing, I turned my thoughts to my feet, trying to focus on getting to the room that I've been avoiding. I needed to go back, I needed to at least prove to myself that what happened in that room really did happen and was not just a dream...

The door stood in front me of, like a barrier to the memories beyond them. A single tear escaped my eyes as I imagined the blonde musician that, in my mind, could be just beyond this wooden barrier that stood before me now. My shaking hand slowly raised and pushed hesitantly at the door, opening it with a bit of fear creeping in.

I realized, as I walked into the room with heavy feet, that I didn't know how to turn on the lights. I stood awkwardly in the dark room for a moment before deciding to feel around on the nearest walls; for a few minutes I felt nothing, then, a small piece of metal. Maybe an electric box? I messed with the knob for a moment before figuring out how to open the metal flap. Upon opening it, a small green light shown.  
>'Maybe...' Hesitantly I pressed the button in the box; light slowly came up over the chairs. A smirk filtered through my pain for a moment at my success.<p>

I looked around the room, remembering it well from the last time I was in here. I had been staring at Demyx's ass when I realized he was actually trying to be quiet and sneaky, to not be noticed; but I noticed. So I followed him, he had crept down a few floors from the rec room a group of us were in and found his way to this door in particular. He even stopped to check if he was alone, I barely had enough time to duck around a corner before he would have seen me.

Now the room had an air of loneliness and a bit more dust. Everything looked exactly how it had been; the stool, microphone stand, and guitar case all still stood on stage while the-'Wait a minute...Demyx took Echo with him when he left the auditorium last month...why is she back?'

Nervously, with a slight tint of hope, I took a step towards the stage. "De...Demyx?" I called out quietly, then once more, louder this time. When no soft voice returned my call the small hope that had taken residence inside my chest immediately packed and left; I should have expected as much, no one comes back from the dead. No one.

Still, I wanted to know why Echo was here. I stepped up onto the stage and kneeled beside the guitar case, stopping to run my fingers along the well worn edges before sighing and unclasping the case. 'Last chance to back out….I could just lock this back up and walk out of here; no one would ever need to know.' I shook my head, 'No, I have to do this. I have to find out why she's here. Why she's in this spot.' Stilling my shaking hands I opened the case.

It was just Echo…nothing special. No secret will, no Demyx, no stash of candy, nothing. Just Echo. I pulled out the ocean blue guitar, I guess I just needed to feel Demyx one more time, to touch where he once touched, I don't know…but wait….

A note had fluttered down when I picked up the guitar, it now laid in my lap with my eyes locked onto it. Very very slowly, almost like I was afraid of it running away or vanishing or being just a figment of my imagination, I set down Echo and picked up the note; gently letting my fingertips brush the edges of the paper. "Demyx…you did leave me something…you knew I would come back." I smiled sadly, he had always known me so well; he had known everything…except that I loved him.

Finally I gained enough courage to open the note and read what he had written:

"_Axel,_

_I really hope you're not reading this note. If you are it should mean that Sora won, and that would suck. So I'm hoping you aren't reading this, but if you weren't that would mean that I wrote it for nothing…well. I guess then this will just be a 'just in case' note. So just in case Sora won, read this note."_

I smiled with tears in my eyes, I could almost see Demyx's face as it must have looked as he struggled to write this letter. He had never been good with words if music hadn't been involved.

"_There are so many things I never got to tell you Ax, things I should have. Stories like how I died or even how I lived as a Somebody will probably be lost forever now. Mainly though, I needed to tell you that I love you. Or at least write it down in the hopes that someday I'll tell you myself."_

This had to be a dream….Demyx never loved me…he couldn't have.

"_I've loved you since the first time I saw you Axel…you looked so regal with your fire-red hair and emerald green eyes that contained a completely different kind of fire in them. I could tell you were special from the second I laid eyes on you, and I wanted to be part of your life. When I found out our rooms were right next to each other I started planning."_

I chuckled; what Demyx didn't realize was that he had entered my life the second I saw him. I had planned on doing the same thing to him, finding my way into the life of this beautiful blonde hair blue eyed musician with a weird hairstyle. (Everyone said his hair looked stupid. On anyone else it would have; but Demyx, he looked adorable with it.)

"_Superior told me that the first night was always the hardest, he said that if I had any problems I should go to your room and that you were ordered to help me with any problems I should have. I figured nightmares and empty-bed-syndrome was a good enough problem to go see you. Late at night I crept into your room and couldn't resist curling up next to you. I almost kissed you when you wrapped your arms around me in your sleep, but I didn't want to scare you off right away, so I just wrapped mine around you and smiled for the first time since I became Demyx and not Edmy._

_But anyway, I'm leaving Echo to you; I know you will love her as much as I did and I'm hoping you'll learn to play as well. She'll make beautiful music for you. _

_Axel, I love you more than anything. Even now, faded and gone, I still love you. I will always love you. Remember that okay? I don't know if you loved me too or felt anything towards me…but I want you to remember me as the dorky musician and not the weakling who was defeated by Sora okay?"_

By now tears were streaming down my cheeks; steaming, but not fully evaporating. A few times I had to pause to wipe away the tears because I could no longer read the letter through the steam.

"_I hope you liked my song…I know it was you here last night. When I came tonight to leave Echo I noticed the smell of smoke and fire that you always leave behind. It reminds me of you…I'm glad I can smell it now; it makes it easier to write this letter. You give me the strength I need to fight when I need to. If you hear that I put up quite a fight that's because I'll be fighting for you. To come back to you. To tell you the things in this letter and more in person. I want to someday be able to come back from missions to see you and your emerald eyes smiling and greeting me with the same love I would greet you with._

_I really hope that when I saw you staring at my ass a few times you were actually staring at my ass and not Larxene's, who happened to be standing next to me at the time."_

I chuckled, remembering that time. We were in line to get dinner, I believe it was pizza that night, and Demyx had been wearing his super skinny black jeans that he loved so much. I loved them too. I smirked at the memory of the jeans and the innumerable fantasies I'd imagined involving those jeans.

"_And the time that you 'fell' on me and pinned me to the ground during practice. Axel, no matter how many times you said it, I __know__ that was not your knee."_

I blushed brightly, remembering that time as well. I was overtaken by the sight of Demyx sweaty and panting. My body had taken over momentarily, trying it's best to get at Demyx; I had barely enough will to not take him immediately.

Now I wish I hadn't held back…

"_I don't want you to be sad or lonely anymore okay? I want you to move on with your life. I'll wait for you where ever I end up and hope or pray or whatever I need to do to try and have you end up with me. If you don't want to end up with me you don't have to though."_

There was his nervousness kicking in; always unsure of himself, always thinking of the other person. That's why I loved him so much. While I couldn't care less what happened to other people (except for Demyx of course), he always put everyone above himself.

"_I have to go on my mission now, I can't put it off any longer or I'll miss Sora and get in huge trouble._

_I love you Axel. Forever and Always. Good bye my love."_

The letter ended there. No more. Sobs ripped through my chest as I hugged the letter and Echo to my chest, trying to soak in as much of Demyx as I could while I still could. This room, this guitar, this handwriting, I had felt like he was just gone on a really long mission; but now it finally hit me, my brain hadn't been able to comprehend it, Demyx is gone.

The letter slipped from my fingers and fell to the ground, flipping over in the process. Through blurry eyes I could see writing or something on the back. Quickly, in hopes for some connection to my blonde musician, I wiped at my eyes and set Echo aside once more so I could reach the paper without having to get up.

It was music…a song. With a small bit of writing in the corner that read "One more song for you…" I looked at the title of the song and smiled sadly. I was glad that I had had Demyx teach me how to read music before he was gone. I cleared my throat and stood up shakily. I wanted to sing his song. He deserved to be remembered with the music he loved so much.

"Oceans apart day after day  
>And I slowly go insane<br>I hear your voice on the line  
>But it doesn't stop the pain<p>

If I see you next to never  
>How can we say forever<p>

Wherever you go  
>Whatever you do<br>I will be right here waiting for you  
>Whatever it takes<br>Or how my heart breaks  
>I will be right here waiting for you<p>

I took for granted, all the times  
>That I though would last somehow<br>I hear the laughter, I taste the tears  
>But I can't get near you now<p>

Oh, can't you see it baby  
>You've got me goin' crazy<p>

Wherever you go  
>Whatever you do<br>I will be right here waiting for you  
>Whatever it takes<br>Or how my heart breaks  
>I will be right here waiting for you<p>

I wonder how we can survive  
>This romance<br>But in the end if I'm with you  
>I'll take the chance<p>

Oh, can't you see it baby  
>You've got me goin' crazy<p>

Wherever you go  
>Whatever you do<br>I will be right here waiting for you  
>Whatever it takes<br>Or how my heart breaks  
>I will be right here waiting for you"<p>

'Dammit…I'm sorry Demyx…I can't hurt Roxas…even if he isn't Roxas anymore…I can't. I guess I'll see you soon my love.'


End file.
